Building a Sex Space

A picture of our sex space. There is a navy blue rug, black Liberator chaise, and an iron and wood halltree decorated with kinky toys.

Daddy and I binged watched How to Build a Sex Room which was a lot of fun! If you haven’t watched it, I recommend checking it out, if only for the beautiful designs Melanie Rose comes up with. The basic premise is that Melanie Rose is an interior designer who started designing ‘sex rooms’ or ‘intimacy rooms’ years ago. She creates spaces that are designated for encouraging people to have more sex, to have more intimate time, to help foster experiencing their own sexuality and exploring what all of that means. I love the concept so much. American purity culture is pervasive and leeches into everything so it’s wonderful to watch someone create these spaces with intention and not shy away from what they’re meant for.

But it got me thinking about how I haven’t spent much, if any, time working on our bedroom and certainly haven’t created any kind of sex space. We have plans to create a play space but it’s going to take time and a lot of work before it’s ready. I wanted to do something now that would encourage us to make time for play and sex. Like many long-term couples, Daddy and I can fall prey to vanilla creep where other things become the priority in our day-to-day lives and we have to become intentional about making time for play. While the M/s never stops, sometimes the play does. So I wanted to set up a little space where we could play with as few barriers as possible.

We utilize half of our basement space as our bedroom and previously had the bed dead center on the wall. A quick slide over gave us a ton of space for me to set up a hall tree (yes, a hall tree for coats and shoes and things) and a lovely rug to go under the Liberator Black Label Esse. I pulled out every single toy we own, except for his kits, which have designated cases and spots, and started to organize. Hanging toys up makes them so much more accessible and helps the area feel like a real sex space.

We have a lot more and fewer toys than I think we do. I’ve looked at the shelving a couple of times wondering why we don’t have X kind of toy or why we never bought heavier floggers or whatever and then realize that we have half a dozen floggers already so do we really need more? (The answer is yes.)

I want to hang up some beautiful kinky prints on the wall, some more little decor pieces for the shelving, and a big fluffy blanket to drape on the Liberator – both to wrap up in after play and to keep the cats’ fur off of the chaise. We’re talking about modifying our bed frame to create some hard points and adding details like fairy lights and nicer bedding. That was a big takeaway for me from How to Build a Sex Room – the details really matter.

It feels good investing in this sex space even though I still need to paint walls and add in a ceiling fan. It’s easy to look at the to-do list and think I haven’t done enough but we absolutely fucked on the chaise after I got things set up so I’d say it’s doing its job already.

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