Hygiene and grooming are important – your Dom wants you clean and prettyNo True Way #48
Hygiene and grooming (along with what I wear) are things Daddy doesn’t have much interest in having control over. For one, he doesn’t have many preferences regarding things like what products I use to wash with or what I do with my body hair. And two, it’s assumed that I, an adult, am capable of keeping up with such things at a reasonable level and will do so without the need for a reminder or a set rule. I personally do some habit tracking around certain hygiene items because of my own executive dysfunction and time blindness but it’s extremely rare for Daddy to get involved.
Early on, I set a hard limit around my hair. My first dominant had a rule that I was to keep it long and natural. My second had no preference. But, at the time Daddy and I were getting together, I had been really exploring identity expression via my hair and didn’t want to lose that. Luckily, my pink hair and half-shaved head were something he liked about me and he had no issue with that. Daddy has always encouraged me to do what I want with my hair. I’m far more open to his thoughts and suggestions about it but I think I will always remain a little guarded about what happens to my hair.
My day-to-day grooming routine is fairly simple and meant to be a quick way of looking presentable. Since I am always a representation of Daddy and our dynamic, I strive to look at least put together before leaving the house. There are, of course, days my hair is wrapped up in a bun, and brushing my teeth is an accomplishment, but there is at least always some level of effort for him. Again, he doesn’t explicitly expect these things from me but I find many things that are routine for other people easier to accomplish when I frame them as being done for him.
My grooming routine gets stepped up when we are going to a BDSM party or other event. Lifestyle events, where people know and understand at least a little about what my role is, push me to be even more presentable. Perhaps it is my own anxieties, but I feel there is a higher level of expectation for how I should look. Since part of being a courtesan slave, for me, is being a beautiful prize, I take more time doing my makeup before a party. I do my nails. Wash my hair very carefully. Skincare routine. Carefully planning my outfits. Anything that I think adds up to the kind of courtesan I want to look like.
I enjoy leaning into this kind of stepped-up routine. It reaffirms my femme identity, my courtesan identity. When I am having a masc day, what I do to style myself reaffirms that. It’s another tool in my back pocket to play with gender in different ways. And it’s an outward expression of who I feel I am inside and who I want Daddy to see when he looks at me. The flirty femme that can’t wait to kneel at his feet or the shy masc who would rather hide behind his shoulder.
So while Daddy may not have laid out explicit terms as to how I should remain “clean and pretty”, the basic expectations are there. My standards may be higher than his but most of the time that’s okay. Plus, I like the way Daddy and I do things. He’ll express preferences, and tell me his honest opinions on clothing and the like, but he lets me handle the details. Perhaps one day he will change his mind and give orders or set rules for me but, for now, it’s up to me to decide how to maintain the basic hygiene and grooming of his slave.