I may write a longer post about subfrenzy in the future because I find it such an interesting phenomenon. On the other side of the coin is domfrenzy, a similar thing some tops and Dominants can go through. I never really went through subfrenzy myself until several years into the scene after a breakup and I was more confident in myself as a bottom. I was single and wanted to do a lot of different play with different people. I think I handled it okay – being picky about who you play with helps! – and I was in an established community so my friends would have spoken up if they were concerned.
I think I went through it again when I fell into my current dynamic. NRE and sub frenzy is a tough mix to navigate and I mostly tried to focus on good choices over doing what felt good. It’s difficult and I don’t blame people who get caught up in it! It feels good to try as many things as possible! It feels good to be in an environment and social circle where talking about alternative relationship structures, sex, bondage, etc, is not only socially acceptable but encouraged. Getting involved in the community or even with just a couple of people in the scene gives us access to a whole bunch of things we’ve been taught are for bad people. Only we find out that we’re one of those people and everything is fine.
Subfrenzy isn’t the end of the world but it needs to be navigated with care and attention. Turn to friends if you think you’re going to make a bad decision and spend some time doing some self-reflection.
